I’ve always fancied myself someone who can remember the most random things about situations, people or encounters(they have a butt part instead of side-swept bangs, their feet are so small in comparison to the rest of their body that they look like they have hooves), but those things always seem to be fleeting and nothing that would be useful if I had to remember it for a police sketch or police report. I’m particularly terrible with names…it doesn’t matter if we play the name game, you repeat it to me 3 times or it’s written on your shirt, unless I write it down–boom! It’s in and out of my memory within seconds. Blame this on the ADD, alcohol or the fact that you’re a creeper trying to talk to me and I’m actually not interested…truth be told, it’s not you–it’s me.
Now, pair the above statement(s) with the fact that I’m a TERRIBLE artist.
Like, really, really, REALLY bad. My 4-year old nephew is Norman Rockwell compared to me. This was a picture I drew of him, obviously it didn’t make it to the fridge next to his finger paintings. Knowing about my lack of artist skills, one can imagine how bummed the police force would be if they ever had to get me to participate in one of these sketches.
I was recently even further shamed about this fact after reading an article about ‘stoner mice’. Apparently the Wichita Police Department had some marijuana that they were keeping as part of evidence from a 2009 case tampered with by an unknown source. Upon some hard-core sleuth work (pun intended), they discovered that it was not simply tampered with, as they initially had thought, but that those pesky varmits had eaten it. Now, this story is funny enough that you could easily forget about my aforementioned artist and memory skills, but the visual that goes along with this story, will bring it all back to you.
<–I present to you, Exhibit A
Say what? You haven’t even SEEN these rodents and you’re able to produce a sketch like that?! Color me impressed!! (As a side note, you’re hosting a press conference? This is the face of the war on drugs, people!)
Seeing the great detail and artistry of this sketch, I started thinking about previous stories I’d heard about where one had to draw a picture of something/someone they remembered but maybe hadn’t actually seen in real life.
On a serious note, Mary-Catherine Smart was able to help find her sister, Elizabeth Smart, after remembering details of the man who had been helping around their house….but, more famously (???) there is…..
….The leprechaun sketch.
Now, before you think there is no possible way that I could only produce a drawing on this level, don’t give me that much credit. THIS would be framed in my house if I’d drawn it. True Story.
So, where do I go from here? My general thought is that it is highly unlikely I’ll ever have to give my description of someone for this sort of purpose, but I’m sure you can imagine the feeling in inadequacy that I feel over this.